$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
love makes seman taste better
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
