The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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