Dual....:-)
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
