You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
