so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
