OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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