Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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