It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize