I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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