I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I understand Curling. That high.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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