Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
