oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This is my gift to your gina
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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