It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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