my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
