Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm like, not good at living.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
