I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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