they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
