this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
