During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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