I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
