I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize