She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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