Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
