How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize