He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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