I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
