On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
