jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Are we still banned from the library?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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