WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
