She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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