I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
