would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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