I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
