that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
