Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it's like heaven, but drunker
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
