Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am available for nakedness
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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