man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
