And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
