yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
