she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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