I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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