I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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