I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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