erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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