I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
