Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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