me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
