I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
