Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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