my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
