I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
