it wasn't lemon gatorade
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
