Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
