There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
