a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I will be naked everywhere
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
