once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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