Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my poor anus
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
