I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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