I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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