I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
