you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
