the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
