I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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