I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
