He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize